On being from North Carolina

When we first started making plans for this trip, North Carolina's amendment to enshrine marriage in the state constitution as exclusively between one man and one woman was just a twinkle in the eye of a right-wing state legislator.  As we followed the polls in advance of May 8, we started to realize that we would likely be patronizing a lot of  businesses in counties which had explicitly voted to prevent us from having convenient things like hospital visitation rights should we ever live there together.  Jane made mordant jokes about future vacation plans: "Next year, Myanmar!" When the amendment actually passed, there was some soul searching on my part about what it means to love a state that, despite a tradition of relative moderation and civility, had joined all the other southern states in explicitly enshrining discrimination in its constitution. The election was followed by more troubling actions by the state legislature and by religious figures from close to where my mother grew up, see here, here, and here.  With everything going on, I was at a loss to explain to Jane the emotional and sentimental connection to the state.  The truth is that North Carolina is a  tremendously complex place, largely rural, often conservative, but also the home of important social and cultural movements that align with my political values and that I believe have moved our country forward, see here for one.    My own relationship with where I came from is also somewhat contradictory.  I feel rooted in the university community in Greensboro in which I grew up, but also have ties to small towns throughout the state where my family is.  And I love my friends who grew up here and stay here, because this is where they want to be. Living in New York, which is full of people who came from somewhere else, I love being from somewhere, and feeling connected to a place with characteristics, with culture.  North Carolina is the place that made me who I am, and it barbecue and iconic minor league baseball teams to boot.  So here we are.